Andrew English's column

	The Bishop has joined a growing band of fingerwagging environmentalists who are bent on stealing the ‘Dismal Science’ crown previously held by economics.

I searched and searched, but couldn’t find the chapter on global warming in my Gideon Bible (thank you Red Roof Inn, Pasadena, California). Nor was there any reference to carbon dioxide emissions, profligate airline travel or the use of 4x4s. And while the Bishop of London, the Rt Rev Richard Chartres, thinks that the last two are sinful, as far I could see, there are still only seven deadly sins, plus of course the eighth: “Don’t get caught”. Perhaps the Bish has had a recent update from the big man upstairs, and maybe we’ll finally get a steer on what God thinks of burning fossil fuels, and how he considers Italians wearing brown shoes with charcoal-grey suits.

Somehow I doubt it. What is more likely is that the Bishop has joined a growing band of fingerwagging environmentalists who are bent on stealing the ‘Dismal Science’ crown previously held by economics. The Australians used to joke that there’s nothing as dry as an Englishman’s towel, but the other day I heard an Aussie on BBC Radio 4’s Today programme talking of his guilt at having a shower, because of its effect on climate change. Blimey, a smelly Australian? You don’t see a lot of those.

You expect to hear sanctimonious clap trap from Greenpeace and Friends of the Earth on occasions, but the Liberal Democrats have been fond of self-righteous humbug about 4x4s recently. Then there’s the doom-mongering from The Independent newspaper, with its front covers: There Is No More Oil, You’re All Going To Die, or Stay Indoors – the Sky Is Falling. Lighten up, guys, it may never happen. How about a front cover on what a lovely day it’s going to be? Or what about the arch new puritans, such as London mayor Ken Livingstone, who thinks SUV drivers are “idiots”, or Jonathan Porritt, who seems to spend most of his time slagging off motoring writers?

So where does all this pious nonsense get us? Precisely nowhere, according to the Energy Savings Trust (EST), a Government and industry-funded body set up after the 1992 Rio Summit to save energy and reduce carbon emissions. Research by the EST has shown that when faced with such guilt-laden messages, the public and small business switch off. “They assume the problem is so big there is nothing they can do about it,” says EST chief executive Philip Sellwood.

To be honest, I also know that people get pig-headed when they are told what they cannot do and turn right round and do it anyway. Sellwood believes the business of reducing the effects of climate change depends on cooperation, not confrontation. He prefers incentives and grants over legislation and witch hunts. “It’s about ordinary people doing extraordinary things,” he says.

What we are talking about here is the small stuff. You don’t need to pay £17,780 for the dubious benefits of a hybrid Toyota Prius. Take a train a couple of times a week, perhaps, or choose a smaller engine, maybe a diesel, for your next car. What about dusting off the bicycle? These things should be a source of joy and fun, not hair shirt-wearing misery. Tell you what: I’ll use a little less carbon if you do, but we won’t tell anyone about it, least of all the finger-wagging environmentalists. It will be our secret, and if you see a wagging finger, take a leaf from my Labrador: give it a sharp nip.

Andrew English is motoring correspondent for the Daily Telegraph