A date with Jordan

	Mike blasts past, inches from my fingers, the wind hits the board with such force, I crash on the pitwall, bruising my ribs.

When I was told I would be spending the weekend with Jordan, I was over the moon. But rather than wining and dining the glamour model, I was actually going to be helping out Mike Jordan and Team Eurotech for the penultimate race in 2007’s Dunlop MSA British Touring Car Championship at Brands Hatch.

Still, plenty of glamorous women usually appear at these motorsport events. Yet instead of flirting with ‘pit ponies’, I soon discover I will be team lackey – and be kept very busy indeed. I join the squad on practice Saturday. So what’s my first job? To prepare the allocation of 20 race tyres. Afterwards, chief mechanic Dave Smith gives me a tin of polish and a cloth to clean the Honda Integra racer. This has to be done after every session – with more than 750 sponsors visiting, a spotless car is vital.

I quickly work up a sweat, but, huddled over the front wheelarch, I fail to notice the panic around me. Dave is doing sensitive suspension calibrations, yet I’m wobbling the Integra enough to throw all the measurements out.

So instead, I’m handed the pitboard, and as Mike roars out of the garage, I have to keep him updated with his times and position. As Brands is such a short circuit, my hands are a blur as I fit the numbers to the board. I lean from a gap in the fence and, as Mike blasts past, inches from my fingers, the wind hits the board with such force, I crash on the pitwall, bruising my ribs.

More cleaning follows as sponsors tour the garage. It’s gone 7pm when I leave the track. But I’m exhausted, and go to bed shortly after.

It’s another early start the next morning, and with race one approaching, I realise how well drilled the team is. As Mike heads on to the track, the heavens open and everyone shelters in the pits – apart from mechanic Jack Brady. He’s the last to leave the grid with the slave battery that starts the car.

The crew gets on the radio: “Wet enough for ya, Jack?” He looks over, drenched, to see us all in stitches – but is unable to respond as he would like to due to the TV cameras!

During the race, we crowd round a tiny monitor, fed with the same images you see on TV. Mike’s every overtaking move is met with a cheer – unless he’s blasting past the pits, when the crew leans out of the garage and roars “Come on!”

Jordan is on for a good finish, before a tussle with Gordon Shedden. He locks the brakes and drops back. As he arrives in the pit garage afterwards, he slams the door and storms off – but the mood lifts soon after when Mike returns to discuss set-up for race two. “You have to be philosophical,” he says.

I get chatting to Jack, who started as an apprentice and is now a highly trained member of the team. He’s adjusting the rear roll bar, following feedback from Mike. “Fancy helping?” he asks. You bet! I slide under the car, spanners in hand, doing as Jack says. Me, working on a BTCC car? Is the team mad?

The precision components fit together like a dream – this is a damn sight easier than the old bangers I normally fix.

Even so, it’s fingers crossed when Mike takes the car out for round two. Luckily, he soon comes on the radio, saying it’s the best it has felt all weekend.

Jordan and I catch up before race three. Mid-sentence, he stops and asks: “How long to the next race?” Jack shouts: “Ten minutes.” Mike apologises as he sprints to the truck. Hope I haven’t held him up!

Luckily, it’s all fine – and Mike reaches the first corner in the lead! For 11 laps, he stays there, comfortably. Could a win be on the cards? The atmosphere in the garage hits fever pitch as the realisation dawns – a TV crew even appears to film our cheers.

Then, disaster! Vauxhall’s Fabrizio Giovanardi misses his braking point, and hits Mike. The garage gasps. A certain win gone. We all feel sick. Mike rejoins the race, but well down; as if to show how quick he was, he later sets the fastest lap.

Afterwards, Jordan returns to a silent garage, and quickly disappears. I couldn’t bear the disappointment, so how was he coping? Amazingly, he’s back half-an-hour later – and raises morale by shouting: “Just watch us at Thruxton!” Here’s hoping the team’s hard work pays better dividends there...

YOU CAN see live coverage of the 2007 BTCC title decider on ITV1 at 2.30pm on 14 October.